For a while I have wanted to write something here on how lucky I am to be able to write. Lucky in education, in freedom to express my views.
On to Friday night…
Husband and baby tucked up in bed.
I made myself a new playlist and settled down under a blanket to see how many words of fiction I could grind out of my system. I’m not ashamed to say I do like to over dramatize my singing along to get into the correct mood.
Halfway through some Lady GaGa, my eyes flicked up to the TV and BBC News at Ten.
The words ‘Yemen Conflict’ had just appeared on the screen. I’m sure you can imagine the kind of news report that followed.
And in that moment, and now only a few minutes later, I realise that I am nothing.
Lucky doesn’t even come into it.
There is footage of children going to school surrounded by wreckage. Others injured in hospital. Mothers scrapping for their children, making sure they can get by in the place where they have no idea what will happen tomorrow. Where they have no control.
And what do I find hard? A couple of words written on technology I can happily use in the comfort of my own home. The only noise outside is traffic and slightly annoying neighbours.
I’ve never had to scrap for an education to learn how to do this. In fact I probably fought against it more than anything.
My fears are a few ‘scary’ business meetings. Occasional thoughts of possible failure that will cause me no more damage than a bruised ego.
The tears in my eyes are humble and sad that there is very little I can do. I wish the people who would appreciate it most had what I don’t even have to think about.
I always make the most of what I have and know that I am lucky – but sometimes I’m sure we all don’t realise quite how much.
This is all very small and insignificant.
So tonight my thoughts lie with those not as fortunate as myself. Sadly there are more on that side than the other.
I can continue to write, experience, appreciate, and maybe one day my words will bring help to someone.
Then I will be lucky.